When it comes to direct messages on a dating app, there’s a delicate balance between coming on too strong and playing it cool. Ideally, you’re flirty without scaring someone off or being too forward, and you always run the risk of losing someone’s interest with cheesy pick-up lines. And it turns out, you could be making mistakes in the DMs without even realizing it. Here’s what to avoid so your match doesn’t regret swiping right:
- Giving one-word answers- You may think you’re being mysterious, but not elaborating on responses can actually be frustrating. Even if it’s a yes or no question, try to build on your answer to keep the conversation flowing and show interest in the other person.
- Asking way too many personal questions- You want to get to know the other person, but not be too intrusive too soon. Moving beyond small talk to make a personal connection is good, but steer clear of topics that may be sensitive, like family relationships, money, and medical history.
- Negging instead of teasing- Negging is using low-grade insults, kind of like roasting, as a form of flirting, but when you don’t really know each other yet, it can come across as rude, rather than cool or funny. If you’re not sure how your teasing will be taken, hold off on it so you don’t offend them.
- Over-showering with compliments- Saying nice things can show you’re kind and flirtatious, but lay it on too thick and you may come across as insincere and desperate. So don’t go overboard with compliments at this stage.
- Taking yourself too seriously- Dating app profiles aren’t job interviews, so relax and have some fun with it. Even if you’re looking for something serious, hold off on sharing that in the first messages or you could be coming on way too strong.
- Sending unrequested pics- In case you’re wondering if it’s ever a good idea to send someone a photo they didn’t ask for, it’s not. Ever.
- Listing specific requirements -Even if you have an internal checklist for your ideal match, don’t share it. Your match might not love your favorite sports team or have seen every episode of your favorite show and you may find you actually like them anyway.